3/10
I generally try to stay away from posting bad music on this blog. But sometimes, something is so bad it can’t be ignored.
Madonna’s frightfully vapid, forgettable and meaningless MDNA is such a case.
Though she’s been irrelevant most of the last decade, her Super Bowl show last month was solid and entertaining — a reminder that no matter how far from mainstream consciousness she slips (never that far, really), she’s created some of the most enduring music of the last 30 years.
Easy truth: Madonna’s never been an album artist. She survives and thrives on singles alone. So a hit-and-miss record is to be forgiven, especially at this point in her career, when she’s more focused on making movies and being a celeb mom than music. Let’s also look at this truth: Like A Prayer, Ray of Light and Music were all very good, approaching great, albums.
2007′s Hard Candy was an embarrassment, showing the previously ageless Madonna running too hard to keep up with teenagers bent on clubbing. However, news that she’d re-teamed with William Orbit — who washed her pseudo-spiritual preachings on Ray of Light in captivating, warm electronics — offered more hope for MDNA.
But the end result is a pretty horrid exercise in how not to grow old gracefully. As a friend put it on Facebook, “This new Madonna makes Hard Candy sound like Like A Prayer.”
Madonna’s rarely been deep but she’s often been intriguing. Her musical choices, the juxtaposition of her image to the lyrical message in her songs, her purposeful baiting of mainstream Christianity added life to her songs. But almost always at the heart of those songs was some sort of genuine emotion, no matter how facile.
Even that is forgotten on almost all of MDNA’s songs. Instead, this is a colder, harder exercise in soullessness than Hard Candy. “Girl Gone Wild,” “Some Girls,” and “I Don’t Give A F–” could be sung by anyone. There is absolutely no personality in any of these songs, hammered into glib club mixes with dumber-than-dumb lyrics like:
“When I hear them 808 drums
It’s got me singing
Hey-ey-ey-ey
Like a girl gone wild”
It gets worse. “Gang Bang” is a tuneless revenge song (to ex-husband Guy Ritchie?) about killing a spurned lover. “Bang, bang/Shot you dead/Shot my lover in the head” and “If you’re gonna live like a bitch/ Then die like a bitch” (both repeated numerous times) are the extent of the song’s sentiment.
The only real bright spots here are “Superstar” — a diary of her daily trials and excesses — and “I’m A Sinner,” which are not coincidentally the only times on MDNA when Madonna sounds like Madonna.
The production throughout is slick and thick and sometimes interesting, so there’s some merit there.
Even when you’re Madonna, at some point you have to own up to the fact that you are 53. And that it reeks of desperation to try to hang with 20-year-olds. And that working that hard to seem young — and sounding like you’re working hard — is even more desperate. And that desperation is uncool. And that pop music is about cool and you are no longer cool because you’re too busy pretending to be what you aren’t.
At some point, we realize that you — the queen of calculated trend-setting — are simply following trends in hopes of clinging on.